While we cover a lot of music gear, every once in a while, we cover something outside of that realm. Below is a review of the Chirp Contour, which we tried recently, that you should know about.
CHIRP is holding one of their best sales all year for Black Friday Hier!
I’ll be honest: I have never been to a chiropractor. The idea of someone manually cracking my neck or twisting my spine terrifies me. I know people swear by it, but I can’t bring myself to make an appointment. The problem, of course, is that I sit at a desk all day, and my back is a mess. My posture sucks, and I’m pretty sure I don’t have a strong core because I’m behind a desk so often.
Der Chirp Contour caught my eye because it promised the kind of heavy-duty spinal relief people get in clinics, but in a controlled, mechanised way that I could do myself at home.
First Impressions: It’s Not a Yoga Mat
When I unboxed it, I was surprised by the scale. The photos make it look a lot smaller, but it’s actually pretty decently sized. At 5’11”, it almost supported my entire body, with just a small amount of my legs drooping over.
The best part? No assembly. You take it out of the box, plug it in, and hide the remote in the side pocket. It’s pretty bulky and weighs about 22 pounds, but that kind of heft made me less worried about breaking it, though heavier folks may not feel the same (more on that later).
How It Works
The device uses a disc lift mechanism. Instead of just vibrating, a motorised roller physically travels up and down your spine, lifting and kneading your back. It’s designed to create traction (gently pulling the vertebrae apart) to relieve pressure.
There are three roller options: Soft, Contour (Medium), and Deep Tissue.
As a quick note, the unit ships with the “Contour” (medium) rollers pre-installed. I jumped right in, and it was… intense. Because it’s been a good year plus since I’ve gotten any sort of professional massage, my back was way tighter than I realised. The Contour rollers were a bit surprising in just how strong they felt.
As such, I recommend that for your first try, immediately swap in the “Soft” rollers before your first go. I tried those on the second run, and it was far easier for me to get used to them. I plan to build up to the stronger settings over time, but let your body get used to the sensation before you try the harder stuff.
The Experience: A Safe “Reset”
Once I got into position, aligned the neck massages where I felt comfortable, and turned on the heat, I finally understood the hype.
I pressed the “Relax,” preset and let the machine do the work. You can feel the rollers lifting your spine, inch by inch. Because it’s a machine, it’s rhythmic and predictable; there are no sudden jerks or terrifying “cracks.” It just feels like a very strong, consistent pressure melting away, and I definitely let out a gasp the first time it lifted up my lower back. Had no idea how terrible things were there, but I was definitely grateful afterwards when I felt the tension melting away.
The heat is the MVP here. It warms up quickly and loosens the muscles so the rollers can actually dig in without hurting.
The Results
The real test was standing up after that first 15-minute session. I felt weirdly lighter. The constant, dull compression in my lower back, the one I had just accepted as “normal”, was gone. I found myself standing up straighter without trying.
I’ve tried cheap (sub $200) back massages from Amazon, and I even have a foam roller. While both helped, I prefer this to both because after an exhausting day, the last thing I want to do is put in more effort (i.e., a roller).
The Chirp Contour is passive. You lie down, you press a button, and you close your eyes. That convenience means I actually use it three or four times a week and look forward to the release it provides.
One Small Caveat
I must say I was slightly surprised by the weight limit. Given that some pro-athletes (like in the NFL) are 245+ pounds plus, I was surprised to see this only supports up to 250 pounds. I’m under that, but I’m close enough to be aware of it. Given that Chirp’s advertising caters to athletes, I feel a “Contour XL” could be a great idea in the future, with a weight limit of at least 400 pounds. If you are a larger person, this motor isn’t strong enough for you, which is a shame.
Is It Worth The Money?
$500 is a lot of money, sure, but this is so much better than a Sharper Image or cheap Amazon massager. Because it’s doing a lot more than just massaging.
If you are like me, dealing with chronic “desk-back” but too anxious or busy to see a professional, this is absolutely worth it. It provides a level of relief that I have not found with traditional heating pads or massage guns. It bridges the gap between doing nothing and seeing a doctor.
For the first time in a short while, my back actually feels loose. And I didn’t have to let anyone crack my neck and give me the fear of permanent paralysis, to get there.
